spoopy shenanigans [ota]

[effingsirius]

It's Halloween. Clearly this means it's time for shenanigans.

Or at least a party. Come costumed (or at the very least clothed.) Here there be alcohol and spoopiness.

Have fun!



[ooc: sob idk what this is go forth and have fun ppl i guess toplevel and attack at will?]

Comments

[rab]

Better Sirius than Regulus, in his mind - the brighter, better of them, braver and less afraid.

He doesn't want to break anyone's heart. Doesn't want to hurt anyone. Doesn't want to be hurt anymore, but that part is far less important.

Regulus still doesn't let him go, keeping him tight against his chest.

"It was smart. Don't argue with me. We'll fix it now." Then there's a pause, brief, and he murmurs so that no one but Sirius can possibly hear him.

"You can't hide from me, Sirius. You don't have to pretend for me, either. You're allowed to be angry."

He's not even talking about what he's just realized - he refuses to touch that - but he knows Sirius is upset either way, and he should be allowed to be.

[effingsirius]

The even quieter words have him ducking his head, eyes drifting from Regulus'. But it's hard to avoid eye contact, especially when he's still being held close.

"I'm not angry," he replies, and it almost doesn't taste like a lie, "I-- wish y'would've told me, 's all. Did you-- think I'd be mad? Did h-he think I'd not want t'be his friend?"

'Were you scared of me?' rises to his lips but can't make their way past them. He doesn't want to know the answer.

Doesn't want to think it might be yes.

"I care about-- both of you. Why would I-- not want th'two of you to be happy? Especially together?"

[rab]

I didn't want to find out which of us he would choose is what Regulus is studiously not saying. He doesn't think he ever will.

"No. It's nothing like that. I swear, it wasn't. Things were just... I didn't want to make anything awkward. I thought--" you hated me, he also doesn't say. "I thought it might be weird. It wasn't...like that. At first. I still had to...pretend, around everyone else. Pretend I really, you know."

Hated people.

"Please don't think--I just didn't want to be a problem." That much is a bit too painfully honest.

[effingsirius]

Well. That helps, at least a little bit. That's got him nodding just slightly, though he can't help but ask:

"You promise? It wasn't because you were-- worried about what I'd do?"

[rab]

"I promise, Sirius. I promise that wasn't it." And it's true as well - he might've been afraid that Sirius didn't love him anymore, but he'd never once been afraid of Sirius himself or of anything he would do.

"No matter what, we've always been brothers."

[effingsirius]

That earns a shaky sigh of relief and a careful, careful kiss to his brother's cheek.

"All right," he says, and it's the first time in the conversation that he actually does sound genuinely okay, "I love you, Reg. 'nd 'm so happy for you, nn?"

[rab]

Regulus leans into the touch and it's his breath that shakes now, something desperate and trembling. He wishes he could believe that Sirius really is okay.

He still feels tired, and upset, and worried.

"I love you too, Sirius. There's not a moment I didn't. I just...want us to be family. Just us. Everyone else with the name is rubbish."

[effingsirius]

"We are family, Reggie."

That's firm. That comes with another shaky kiss before he steps back slightly, not letting go of his brother's hand quite yet.

"Just-- gonna be family that's properly together, once you're out of there. Promise."

[rab]

This time Regulus leans up to kiss Sirius' cheek in return, looking at his face searchingly just after. Holding onto his hand.

"That's all I want. I'm...sorry now, I didn't have the courage to leave earlier. Thank you, Sirius."

[effingsirius]

The light kiss can't help but earn a soft, trembling smile. Squeezing his brother's hand is gentle, fond instinct.

"You did what y'had to do, Reggie," he says softly, "And don't thank me 'til you're free of them, mm?"

[rab]

"I can thank you when I want. I want to now." It's said without letting go of his hand, looking at his face still. "We both did what we had to, anyway. If there's no shame in mine, there's no shame in yours."

Pointedly.

[effingsirius]

Well. That hits home, his head ducking again in a familiar way.

"...If you say so." He doesn't believe it. Probably won't for a while, "It'll get better."

That's more important.

[rab]

After a long moment, he presses a hand to the side of Sirius' neck, gentle but firm.

When he speaks, it's quiet. "I know. I trust you." A breath. "You've always kept your promises."

[effingsirius]

He settles into his hand with a tired smile.

"I've always tried, at least."

[rab]

"No. You've always kept them. Sometimes it can take time but that's not your fault. It's just how things are. So you're keeping it."

He feels tired too. It's not how he anticipated tonight going.

[effingsirius]

That hurts, but in a good way. He manages, somehow, not to cry or even look like he's about to, too much. He manages to smile.

"We'll get you out, Reggie," he promises again with a final squeeze of his brother's hand, "I love you."

[rab]

"I know," Regulus says, trying to relax. He knows that things aren't going to be fine. At least not about this. But still, he tries to smile. "I love you too. We just, you know, were terrible at it for a bit."

[effingsirius]

A rough laugh.

"Didn't exactly have th'best examples. But we'll-- we'll get better."

[rab]

"Someday," he says, and it's a little wistful. "But we have the chance to, at least. I remember not thinking we'd ever be able to get out at all." And now Sirius is out. And Regulus will be. Someday.

[effingsirius]

"That's true," he says with a small smile, "We'll make it t'someday, now."

[rab]

"Always would, we just didn't know it. That's all." He pulls Sirius into another hug, like now that he's started he doesn't want to stop again. "Everything will be all right, yeah?"

(When did he get so optimistic?)

[effingsirius]

He's glad for the hug, even if it means he has to linger a little longer instead of bolting like he wants to. It's been too long since they've been able to hug.

His laugh is trembling, but actually a little happy, to hear the optimism in Regulus' voice.

"Y-yeah, Reg. It-- it will be."

[rab]

The hug is nice. It hurts, emotionally, but it's nice. Finally, reluctantly, he lets go. He still feels awful for this.

"Love you. I'm--sorry."

For what, he doesn't quite elaborate.

[effingsirius]

"You have nothing to apologize for."

Firm, even though a part of him is stifling the quiet hurt.

"I love you. More than anything."

More than Remus, in his own way. More than enough to let the two of them to be happy together.

He'll be all right.

[rab]

"More than anything." It's a quiet echo to match him, looking at him like he can see if there's any lie in Sirius' expression. They've both always been terrible at lying to each other.

Which is how he knows something is still wrong, but at the same time Sirius is still so earnest about it.

He sighs slow, drags his fingers through his hair. "You're the best thing in my life, Sirius. I need you to know that."