"I didn't want to put everything on you again. You've always protected me and I just... I couldn't do that to you, couldn't tell you about it. You'd throw yourself away for me, and for what?"

A coward like him. His voice is thin and sharp like crackling glass but it's familiar, borderline, and he's trying to tone down. He breathes, because he knows the next step is shutting down entirely.

"I was afraid I was too much like them to face you. They tried to make me hate you, I spent too much time there, learning how to--" When he looks at Sirius it's imploring. "I wanted to be someone you could be proud of first."