marauderstower | Poly-Marauders Torture Hell

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Poly-Marauders Torture Hell

TIMELINE: 2 mo after Find Out Pregs. Relatively soon after getting Remus to return from being a TRASH HUSBAND. Bun In Oven about 3mo along.

Regulus finds out about the plan before he knows he's even supposed to be involved. He finds out when he overhears Bellatrix talking about it and his blood runs cold. He slips away quiet and hidden to send off a panicked owl with what information he can give without being incriminated.

S.

Do not go home tonight. B going there. Will be V. BAD. Safe elsewhere.

R.

Each emphasized word is underlined twice.

He barely gets it sent off and goes back among the others when Bellatrix slings an arm around his shoulder and asks him if he's excited to go on the mission. He forces a smile at her, but he feels like he's going to vomit. It's easy to get there though, easy to get to the flat with Bellatrix's...methods. They're left waiting for Sirius to return home and Regulus is only barely not shaking. Bellatrix is draped over an armchair like this is a social call, leg hanging over the arm of it. Regulus is standing nervously behind it and looking at the door every so often.

"You know he's not going to change his mind," said soft. They're not wearing their masks tonight.

There's a silence before Bellatrix's voice slithers out from her perch where he can't see her. Her knife smile is in his mind. "That's not the point, darling cousin."

(Regulus isn't religious, obviously, but what he does now is something very like praying.)

WARNINGS: torture, violence, Mean Things Being Said, Bellatrix Lestrange.

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Regulus flinches but it's not because it's Sirius - he's too used to the torture now, still too pained from the after-effects. But he relaxes into it, shaking his head and burrowing it into Sirius' shoulder. "I fucked up," he whispers, barely audible.

"If I'd been able to derail her enough she wouldn't have escalated, it wouldn't have gotten so bad--" At Sirius' question his head snaps up to stare at him, eyes wide. "She really would have killed both of us then," he says, "that curse doesn't work if you don't really hate someone. It... It would have failed, and she would have known I was lying about just doing it to be a spy."

Ah. So that's it.

"Sorry," he murmurs at the flinch, but he doesn't pull away because he can't bring himself to, and Regulus in leaning in anyways.

He shakes his head at Regulus increasing list of supposed sins. It isn't until the confession, though, that he stills again, his own eyes widening with surprise, before they melt into something young and vulnerable and hopeful.

"You--" He can't even put it to words. He'd known Regulus had cared, after all, at least enough not to want to harm him. He knows Regulus had said he'd loved him, when he left. It's still a very different thing from not hating him, as well, "--Surely you hate me at least enough for it to have worked a little. I left you."

"Don't be a stupid prick," Regulus says, brow furrowing. "Why the fuck would I hate you? I told you to leave if you could." He finally shakes his head, one hand grasping at Sirius' sleeve. "I was upset, sure. Not angry. I thought you hated me, you always avoided me--"

But he's not trying to guilt Sirius. He stops himself. "I've been working up toward leaving for months now. I was using the pretense of being a spy so I wouldn't get killed, so really you were helping me. I just feel awful."

"I avoided you because I felt awful for leaving you. Every time I saw you, I'd think about--"

But Regulus is speaking again, and Sirius is shaking his head and leaning forward to cautiously bump their foreheads together.

"Don't feel awful. I'm so proud of you. You're out now, nn? And you kept Bella from killing me and Dumbledore just said you've got something that'll turn this around-- Merlin, Reg, you can't believe how grateful I am."

"I just--I thought I messed up. I thought I went too far down the hole. I thought I was too far gone. Maybe I was, then. But that's not your fault." Not his fault their parents got worse, either. He doesn't say that part, though. Sirius doesn't need to know.

He leans in closer when their foreheads touch, his eyes lidding nearly shut. Finally relaxing. His grip tightens though, when Sirius finishes speaking. "He can't die, Sirius. He can't die and I had to stop it. Now we can." He won't explain how he had to do that, either. There's a pause, and his voice gets even lower. "He still thinks I'm spying."

"It was," he says softly, not quite able to let the guilt go, "I left you and couldn't find a way to come back to get you. If she hadn't burnt me off the tree I would've gone back once I realized I couldn't get you out of there."

It's something that he hates with everything in him. It's a guilt that he can't help but let loose, now that they're talking again. It makes it a little easier to listen to what else Regulus has to say, even if it makes his blood run a little cold.

"Will you-- have to go back to him? Or will we be able to-- finish it, before then?"

"I'm glad you didn't come back. It--" he hesitates here before pressing on. "It wasn't a good place for you. You could never conform like that. I slipped under the radar." And became a Death Eater, but, well, we can't have it all.

As for the question--he breathes slow before nodding. "I'll likely have to, yes. I can't... right now. I have to come up with a plausible reason for..." His leg. He grimaces a little as he shifts his stance, having thought about it now. "I can keep him out of my mind, but a bad lie will fall apart anyway. Until then, I can feed him old information that will feel valid but not be useful. I've only just become a part of the Order, after all."

He smiles then and it's a little sharp, a little sly - he's happy to be pulling this on someone he hates, in any case.

Edited 2016-10-16 23:25 (UTC)

"I should've tried harder, for you." Tried harder, so Regulus hadn't had to become a Death Eater.

"We'll figure out a good reason for your leg, then, and-- some things you can tell him that won't people at too much risk." His laugh is rough; proud, "Merlin's beard, Reg, you're such a Slytherin."

And he says it with obvious approval, rather than judgement.

"Speaking of your leg, though-- c'mon. Just because you may not need to be lying down doesn't mean you should be standing on it. Let's get you sitting down."

They can keep talking, obviously. But this close to the front door probably isn't a good idea, as it is.

"Stop," he says, and it's a little hoarse. It's a little too raw even now.

But then he lets out a laugh - a real one, one of those so-rare barking things that makes his head tip back for the sheer joy of it. "Always been, big brother. It's just finally come in handy in a way you can appreciate."

(He says brother like it's something easy they've said every day.)

"All right," is a little quieter, a little calmer, and he nods for emphasis. "Lead the way. I could do for a sit." When they move, he'll have to focus his attention on how he walks - it's only been a few days after all, and less than that he's been walking at all. "Dumbledore says it's permanent."

That laugh is so bright and surprising. The word brother is just as wonderful and as startling. He manages a laugh of his own as he squeezes him just a little tighter for a moment. The tears prickling the edges of his eyes are happy ones, now, as is likely evidenced by the broad smile on his face.

"'ve been appreciating it for a couple months, little brother. Just glad you're finally here so I can tell you so to your face."

He shifts now, careful, to better support Regulus as they start to move towards one of the rooms. The inhale of his breath at the discussion of the damage is a little fretful.

"What happened? --If you want t'talk about it, I mean."

"Lucky for both of us no one else has thought of that fact. Or just think it's suiting them instead." He's compartmentalizing, a little. But it's fine because the happiness is real. He squeezes Sirius back, glad enough to be moving to another room. Once they're there he'll immediately settle to sit, wincing and squeezing the outside of his own thigh to try and settle the muscles there.

"Not actually sure why it's happened. There was... A potion. Had to drink the whole thing and there was no way to bring a sample. It..." He frowns then, brow furrowing. "It was quite bad, and Dumbledore said that it's one of the lasting effects. We don't know yet if there will be others."

Don't know if he will be able to tell Regulus drank it or not. He doesn't say this, either. It's not important.

The words earn a somewhat more tired laugh, "Lucky us."

And they really are, at least a little. What were the odds, after all, that they'd end up together again?

Regulus' words earn a frown. He settles to sit next to his brother, studying him with obvious worry.

"Hopefully we'll-- find out sooner than later, if there is anything."

He'll probably be worrying for a while.

Regulus shakes his head before sighing, stretching his leg out straight because bending it feels worse right now. He tips his head back too, swallowing and closing his eyes. "We think it would have manifested by now. Hoping nothing else pops up, but..."

He wants to be as honest as possible about this. "When I say it was bad at first, it was... Very bad." He breathes out and it's almost shaking. "I was supposed to die. I should have died."

He's happy he didn't, but that doesn't change facts.

"--Oh."

His voice can't help but tremble just slightly at that. He's going to have to lean forward to try to catch at his hand again.

"Thank Merlin you didn't. I don't know--"

He doesn't know how he would've lived with himself, if he had.

"I'll be fine," Regulus is trying to reassure him - and he really thinks he will be. Maybe. Probably? He won't say that part. He breathes out slow, squeezing Sirius' hand.

"Things will be all right, Sirius. Back now, yeah? Not going anywhere." Until he has to.

"Good," he says, squeezing Regulus' hand firmly, "You stay here with me, okay? I love you."

His voice only trembles a little when he says it. The last time the words were directed his brother's way was in the emptiness of his flat, after Bella had tortured him. It's better this time.

"I love you too," Regulus says softly, and his own voice definitely shakes. "I'm still so sorry. I just--I wish I hadn't had to leave you."

The guilt still eats at him. "If I hadn't--if I was better at healing spells, I could have..."

He still isn't looking at him.

The shake of his head is instant as he squeezes Regulus' hand once more.

"You didn't have the time. You would've gotten in trouble. Remus found me and I'm-- I'm all right now."

Mostly. Physically, anyways.

Edited 2016-10-20 14:55 (UTC)

"I could've spun a story. I could've gotten away with it." Maybe. Probably not.

He shakes his head too, this time. "So no, it's not all right. I appreciate you saying it though, and I'm glad you've healed up." Physically.

"I wanted to kill her, but it might've blown my cover."

Regulus Arcturus Black.

"You'd already tried that. It hadn't worked."

But sometimes he wonders if maybe Bellatrix isn't more paranoid than her master. She's something else, after all. He almost doesn't bat an eye, when Regulus confesses he might've killed her. Almost.

"I'm glad you didn't," he tells him quietly, "Would've been even more cross with you if you'd put yourself into more danger for my sake. Reg, you tried to warn me. You kept her from killing me and you helped with the pain and you didn't Obliviate me. Merlin knows what else you've been up to or were up to that night-- Did y'do something with her Cruciatus, too?-- That's plenty. You did more than enough, and I'm okay."

Or at least he's going to be.

"So please try-- not t'feel so guilty."

"It's a war on, if you've forgotten. We're all in danger." But there's no fire behind it and he just breathes out slow and grounding, looking at Sirius with something indescribable flitting across his expression. He hadn't known if that had actually worked or if Sirius had just been that angry.

"A shielding charm," he finally admitted, "I couldn't do enough that it bounced off entirely, but I couldn't just let it happen without doing anything." His breath shakes. "I couldn't do anything else. But if I hadn't, she wouldn't have wanted to escalate and--"

His eyes are bright, full of tears that he's not quite shedding. He still blames himself, that much is clear.

"I'll try."

He means it.

"I know. 's why I said more danger, Reg, don't pretend y'didn't notice." And there's affection even in the quiet criticism.

The admission gets him smiling softly, squeezing his hand.

"Thank you," he murmurs, and he means it wholeheartedly, "Even if it made her-- do all of the rest, later, thank you for then. It was-- so much."

His voice fails him, then, because he can't talk about it still. He's certain Regulus knows, anyways.

"Do. 'm still here thanks to you, and I'm grateful for that, no matter-- what it entailed."

"I did. Doesn't matter." Soft. "I'm glad I could finally...put her off in the end."

He's quiet for a long time then, watching Sirius' face. Then he shifts, curling against him like he used to when they were children. His arms are around him, clutching tight at his shirt, and he closes his eyes, still not speaking.

Finally: "I'm home now."

Not just here. Home.

"You did," he affirms quietly, "Thank you."

He'll repeat the quiet words of gratitude as much as he's allowed. He'll absolutely pull Regulus in for a hug, resting his head briefly against his brother's hair. There's a soft smile on his face, even if he feels absurdly like he wants to cry, at the same time.

"That's right." There's a lump in his throat as he says it. His voice quiets all the more, when he murmurs, "I love you, Reggie."

Regulus doesn't speak. He doesn't speak because he's crying quietly. He tries not to make any noise at all but it's difficult, and Sirius has always known the shake to his shoulders. "I love you too," he mumbles, barely audible. "I wish I was--stronger. About staying out of things."

Poly-Marauders Torture Hell

SIRIUS PLEASE I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, DON'T RUN OFF ALONE AGAIN

WELL REG MAYBE I'M NOT GOING TO. I'D STAY HERE IF YOU JUST STAY IN BED

WE ONLY HAVE EACH OTHER, IT'S JUST YOU AND ME, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DOOO (DO YOU WANNA STEAL A HORCRUX)

(yes he wanna steal a horcrux) /emotional strings music

we did it :')

indeed ; ;

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