Poly-Marauders Torture Hell

[rab]

TIMELINE: 2 mo after Find Out Pregs. Relatively soon after getting Remus to return from being a TRASH HUSBAND. Bun In Oven about 3mo along.

Regulus finds out about the plan before he knows he's even supposed to be involved. He finds out when he overhears Bellatrix talking about it and his blood runs cold. He slips away quiet and hidden to send off a panicked owl with what information he can give without being incriminated.

S.

Do not go home tonight. B going there. Will be V. BAD. Safe elsewhere.

R.

Each emphasized word is underlined twice.

He barely gets it sent off and goes back among the others when Bellatrix slings an arm around his shoulder and asks him if he's excited to go on the mission. He forces a smile at her, but he feels like he's going to vomit. It's easy to get there though, easy to get to the flat with Bellatrix's...methods. They're left waiting for Sirius to return home and Regulus is only barely not shaking. Bellatrix is draped over an armchair like this is a social call, leg hanging over the arm of it. Regulus is standing nervously behind it and looking at the door every so often.

"You know he's not going to change his mind," said soft. They're not wearing their masks tonight.

There's a silence before Bellatrix's voice slithers out from her perch where he can't see her. Her knife smile is in his mind. "That's not the point, darling cousin."

(Regulus isn't religious, obviously, but what he does now is something very like praying.)

WARNINGS: torture, violence, Mean Things Being Said, Bellatrix Lestrange.

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[siriusno]

He opens his eyes, finally, looking up at Regulus like his whole world is ending. Because it is. He stares into Regulus' eyes, hardly able to see clearly for the tears but needing him to see that he means every word he says.

"I don't. I don't, I swear I don't, Reg–" Remus chokes back a sob, hands finally releasing the front of Regulus' cloak to slide up his neck until he's got Regulus' face in his hands. His voice is strained with fear and distress and a hundred other emotions that threaten to consume him whole, but the words keep coming like water from a tap that can't be turned off.

"Please, Reg, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I never should have said those things to you and I can't take them back or even ask for your forgiveness because what I did was unforgivable but none of it was true and I know you're different, Reg. I love you; I never stopped. You're a far better man than I am. You're good and you've done so much more than I ever could and I love you and and I– I'm so sorry, Reg..."

[rab]

He should be gone. He should have left, should have gone to tell Sirius goodbye, though not tell him the extent of it - but instead he's here, clutching at the front of Remus' shirt and sobbing as he crawls into his lap. He doesn't think he believes that Remus really trusts him, but he can pretend for this. Needs to pretend for this.

He doesn't say anything for a very long time, breathing shakily. Nothing can ever be the same, but this moment will exist in perpetuity. It has to be enough.

Hopefully Remus won't notice that he has his wand in hand as he clutches at Remus' chest, or that the inaudible murmur actually means something. In fact, he tucks it away again before Remus can notice and finally smiles, just a little, even though it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Thank you," he murmurs, "and I'm sorry. For not being trustworthy enough." A breath as he lets go and stands, one hand smoothing over Remus' hair as he kisses him softly on the lips, the forehead. "And for this."

He takes a step back and if Remus tries to get up to follow him, he won't be able to. Regulus' smile now is sad and he takes in Remus' face like he never wants to forget it. "I can't let you stop me. I'm sorry. It will wear off eventually, but I need time to say goodbye to Sirius and to get to where I'm going." Something pained crosses his face, but he reins it in. "Please forgive me, but don't try to follow me. Just... Go to Dumbledore, tell him what I said. Please."

He surges forward for one more kiss. "I love you."

[siriusno]

Remus doesn't notice a thing with Regulus so close to him, because Regulus is here and Regulus is real and he can feel the whole weight of him to prove it when he never thought he'd be allowed to feel this close to him again. He's sobbing silently against Regulus' shoulder when Regulus pulls away to kiss him, and he returns the kiss in that same desperate, needy manner, leaning forward to follow when Regulus moves because he doesn't want it to end.

He never wants it to end. Not like this.

Regulus' words catch up with him just as he's moving to rise from the chair, and amber eyes pop open to stare at Regulus with dawning horror. "Reg..!" Remus struggles, fresh panic rising in him anew when he finds that no matter how hard he struggles, he's unable to stand.

"No..!" His voice is so high that he doesn't recognize it, hitting a frenzied pitch as he fights the spell that binds him to the chair. "Regulus, no, please, you can't," he cries hoarsely, drowning out Regulus' words as he continues to squirm this way and that. Even as Regulus claims one more kiss from him (is this the way he'll remember their final kiss? struggling so futilely he couldn't even savor that last taste of his love?), he's leaning forward and pulling so hard that he hears his arms pop in complaint, voice rising to a half-incoherent fever pitch imbued with fear and anguish.

"Regulus, please, don't do this! Let me go, let me help you, I can't help Regulus, please. Please! Reglulus!"

[rab]

Regulus hadn't accounted for Remus yelling, he realizes, but even now he can't bring himself to silence him. He clutches Remus' face in both hands instead, looking at him. "You can help," he says, softly, trying to break through his panic. "I need you to be able to tell Dumbledore. No one else can do it, and if you go with me you won't be able to. Please, that's all I can ask of you."

And another kiss, light, before he whispers against his mouth. "Don't think it's you. I was going to do this anyway. I need you to let me go. I do love you, I do."

He has to hurry now, glancing over his shoulder as he goes and shutting the door behind him. He has to go say goodbye to Sirius, too. He hopes he's already awake so he doesn't have to wake him. He doesn't have much time. He pauses outside the door though, wiping his face and schooling his expression calm with a faint smile. Compartmentalizing.

Then he steps inside the room to speak to his brother.

[siriusno]

His sobs are barely differentiable from his incoherent cries now, and he throws himself forward with such force once Regulus pulls away that the heavy base of the chair tips forward dangerously. But no matter how hard he tugs and pulls and strains against the invisible force (will he have scars marring his skin from this night too?), the spell holds firm.

Remus' screams follow Regulus down the hallway, a steady litany of No! and Please! and REGULUS! that carries nearly all the way to Sirius' room.

[effingsirius]

He's unconscious, still, when Regulus comes to his room. It hasn't been so long, after all-- for all that it must have felt like a lifetime to both Regulus and Remus. He's resting more or less peacefully.

At least, he is until the door opens and the faint sound of yelling gets him stirring slightly. He's remains asleep, but it might be easier to wake him, now that there's been noise to stimulate his senses.

[rab]

Regulus should have expected this. All of it. He considers casting a belated silencing spell on the door at least but it's too late anyway, so instead he just hurries up his timeline, each cry making him feel like he's being stabbed in the heart repeatedly.

And of course Sirius is still asleep; he steps close to the bed and places a gentle hand on top of his brother's, glancing to the door furtively just in case. "Wake up, gēge. I need to go, but I want to talk to you first."

He hopes he doesn't have to do much more to wake him.

[effingsirius]

He wakes up slowly; blearily, blinking up at his brother with obvious confusion.

"Dìdì?" comes the mumbled, sleepy response, "'s the matter?"

[rab]

Regulus shakes his head a little, still wearing that mild smile. It hurts his face. "Nothing's wrong, gēge. I talked to Remus a bit, we've kissed and made up, emotionally speaking. It was all just a misunderstanding. He'll probably be in here later to talk to you, but I think he's tired. We all are. I've got some things I need to do, but I wanted to come here and say bye first."

It isn't lying. Technically.

[effingsirius]

"'s good," he slurs out in response to the knowledge that he and Remus have made up. He would have hated it, if they stayed at odds because of him, "'nd thanks for swinging by first. Make sure y'get yourself some rest after y'do what you have to, 'kay?"

Because of course, even from his hospital bed, he's going to fuss.

[rab]

Regulus' smile falters but only for a split-second. Then he's nodding, leaning down to kiss the top of Sirius' head affectionately. "I'll get plenty of rest, I promise. You get rest too, okay? You need to focus on getting better."

He needs to go. He needs to hurry. He doesn't want to but he squeezes Sirius' hand again, one last time, before taking a step back. "I'll go and let you rest now, okay? I love you, Sirius."

It's soft but readily audible for his brother to hear. Once he finishes with his goodbye he leaves the room and looks around once he shuts the door. There are a couple Healers rushing to the door he'd closed on Remus.

"Fuck."

It's not graceful but he takes off, tearing down the corridor with his cloak fluttering behind him. It's late enough not many people are around so it's easy, but he makes sure he's out of sight and gone before they can get Remus free.

[effingsirius]

He moves so quickly it's confusing. Makes Sirius wonder if maybe he's fallen asleep in between sentences. He hopes not. He doesn't want to miss a moment of having his brother really back.

Which is why he can't help the slight frown when Regulus backs away, "'ll right. Come back soon, okay? I love you, too."

And then his brother is gone, and Sirius is still trying to process the speediness of it all.