"I just--I thought I messed up. I thought I went too far down the hole. I thought I was too far gone. Maybe I was, then. But that's not your fault." Not his fault their parents got worse, either. He doesn't say that part, though. Sirius doesn't need to know.

He leans in closer when their foreheads touch, his eyes lidding nearly shut. Finally relaxing. His grip tightens though, when Sirius finishes speaking. "He can't die, Sirius. He can't die and I had to stop it. Now we can." He won't explain how he had to do that, either. There's a pause, and his voice gets even lower. "He still thinks I'm spying."