It's too much. It hurts to see him like this and he can't compartmentalize it fast enough, turning away briefly so that he can sort his thoughts. "We can't always get what we want, Remus." It's soft, and he hasn't turned back yet. Finally he does, taking a ragged breath. His eyes are blank.
"It's different, what I'm doing. You have to understand that. Only one person can go. One. And there's no coming back. Should I send someone else? Absolve myself by killing someone because I'm afraid? I can't do that. There are safeguards. I know how to pass them. It's practical and needs to be done. The Order has to get the horcrux just like the Order needs you."
That last is preempting any thought Remus might have of trying to take on the burden himself. He's not going to let him.
When he reaches out it's to wipe the tears off of Remus' cheeks, touch gentle. His hand is trembling as he does it. He really is afraid - and now he's told Remus he intends to die. It's a mistake, he's sure of it. "Don't cry. War is hell."
no subject
"It's different, what I'm doing. You have to understand that. Only one person can go. One. And there's no coming back. Should I send someone else? Absolve myself by killing someone because I'm afraid? I can't do that. There are safeguards. I know how to pass them. It's practical and needs to be done. The Order has to get the horcrux just like the Order needs you."
That last is preempting any thought Remus might have of trying to take on the burden himself. He's not going to let him.
When he reaches out it's to wipe the tears off of Remus' cheeks, touch gentle. His hand is trembling as he does it. He really is afraid - and now he's told Remus he intends to die. It's a mistake, he's sure of it. "Don't cry. War is hell."