marauderstower | Poly-Marauders Baby Drama

[Remus has to look away for just a moment, just to gather himself, to scrub his hands over his face and breathe until he feels less like he's going to fall apart at the seams. More like he can deal with the immediate situation. Even though the worst part of his mind is already screaming at him to run the other way.

When Lily slides down to the floor, he finally rushes to her, falling to his knees beside her and putting his arms around her.]

We are! We still are, we always will be.

[If Sirius is not already there, he'll look up at him and gesture him over.]

We'll all-- We'll figure this out together. Like we always do.

[It always warms something in his chest, when the others refuse to physically lash out at him. Right now, the feeling hurts a bit anyways because he loves them all so much, and everything just got that much more terrifying.

Of course he's moving forward when Lily moves to the ground, settling against her other side so she's sandwich between two of her boys. His own arms settle over Remus' around her, so it feels just a little like he's hugging them both. That helps, at least.]

We will.

[It wavers slightly escaping his lips, but he squeezes lightly.]

Got five heads t'put together and figure it out, nn? We'll get it sorted.

[Merlin, he'd take down You-Know-Who and his entire army by himself if he had to, just to get this to work. Just to get Lily feeling safe again and that fear out of Remus' eyes and to prevent the likely strain and panic from James and Peter when they tell them later. But if that had been a feasible option, Sirius would've done it long before this.

So instead they're here, clinging to one another tight in order to simply breathe.]

Edited (icon ) 2016-10-15 07:00 (UTC)

[ She burrows into Remus' shoulder so soon as he's there, face in his neck as she cries, trying to get as close to him as possible, inhale against his hair for the familiar comfort - and then Sirius is there too and she reaches out blindly for him, holding onto him. She doesn't want to move, doesn't know if she even can. So she just sits uselessly, feeling hollow and cold like she's been dunked in a bath of ice.

Wanting happiness was wanting something impossible, after all. ]

We always do get it sorted.

[ Her own voice wavers too and is muffled but she manages to say it all the same. She still stays as she is for a long time before lifting her head and taking a deep, shaking breath. Then she kisses them each in turn again like before and lets her head drop back to thump against the wall behind her. ]

Love you both. So much. I'm sorry things ended up like this.

[ Like it's only her fault, yeah right, that's not how making babies works-- ]

We'll figure things out together. I just... [ A beat. ] I'll have to stop going on missions immediately, won't I? Hell. [ It's kind of levity, kind of not. Why is she thinking of this now? ]

[When she turns towards him, he moves to stroke her hair gently, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

When she turns away again, leaning back against the wall, he moves to sit beside her instead of kneeling, one hand still rubbing at her opposite shoulder while the other clutches at one of Sirius' hands.]

Don't apologize. This is-- This is all of us.

[Well most technically speaking it's her and one of the four of them but... they all played a part in this.]

You're definitely going to need to stop going on missions. [Yeah that's not really up for discussion Lily sorry.]

[He kisses Lily's cheek after she rests her head against the wall, holding tight to Remus' hand once it's in his grip.]

's nothing to be-- sorry about, at any rate. Or if it is, we all-- should be sorry.

[Since they are all, technically or otherwise, involved in this.

There's a rough laugh that escapes his lips at Lily's realization, and a gentle kiss to her hair.]

I'll beat people up extra hard, for you. Y'can give me a list of how you want me to do things so we keep having your expertise out there.

[ She finds where their hands are without looking and clasps at them, finally just nodding slightly. As long as they can just stick together everything will be fine, right? Right. No use for doom and gloom, either: there's nothing they can do about it anyway, and treating a child like a mistake isn't possible. ]

Well, I suppose none of us should be sorry then.

[ She curls into both of their affections, breathing finally slow and even: she's cried herself out, in any case. Sirius' declaration earns him a faint snort at least. ]

No you won't, because I'll get mad if any of you get hurt. So you'll all have to be very careful in my absence or I will be quite cross with the lot of you.

[ No, she'll be distraught--but "mad" sounds better. Less final. ]

[He bites down on his own guilt. It's not the time. Not after he's just told her not to apologize.

He shifts closer to them both, his reply meant to be funny but cracking a bit.]

Come on, Lily, you know I'm always careful.

[But he wasn't. They were not careful. That's what got them into this.]

[Both of them curling in closer together has Sirius doing the same, wishing he could just hold them both and protect them from the world. Wishing, desperately, that there was something he could do-- Some way to wave his wand and make this war be over so they don't have to be so scared.

He's coming up empty, for now, and it's frustrating. It's got his laugh a little sharp and shaky in response to their words.]

Suppose it'd be-- a bad idea to make you cross, right now. Guess I'll try to be good.

[It's not a promise. How can they possibly promise, right now? They couldn't even keep themselves out of this situation; how could they promise they'll make it all right out to the other end of the war? It's absolutely terrifying to think about.]

--Merlin, I love you two. So, so much.

[Saying it helps make things feel slightly less terrifying. Just slightly.]

Definitely do not make me cross right now.

[ I'm always careful makes her huff out a broken little laugh. None of them were careful enough. She's still holding onto their hands with hers and brings her other one down to bring theirs up, clasping them between her hands so she can kiss their knuckles in turn.

It's terrifying and they've been so stupid but what other comfort is there in war than to cling to one another whenever they can?

(Clearly it's gotten them into this mess.) ]

I love you too. Both of you. So much. [ Whispered there against their hands before she sighs and shifts just a little like she wants to get up. ]

You probably shouldn't be huddled on the floor around me like I've gotten ill [ She almost says like I've died but bites it back ] whenever James gets home. It's uncomfortable too...

[ Now she frees her hands to scrub the back of her arm across her eyes. ] Maybe we'll feel better if we're comfortable at least.

[ Fat chance. ]

[It's all he can do, for the moment, to keep holding onto them both, to whisper his own affirmation of love for the both of them.

At Lily's suggestion, he nods.]

We should definitely move off the floor, but we'll probably still be huddled around you when James gets home either way. We need to call Peter over too, of course.

I can call them both. 've still got my phone on me.

[It's a soft offer, but a more certain one as he reluctantly untangles himself from them to reach for his phone.]

Should go-- head t'bed, nn? Be more comfortable there when it's-- probably all of us huddled together.

That sounds wise.

[ It's soft, and both about calling James and Peter and getting to the bed. She still feels a bit wobbly as she moves to stand, inhaling slowly and finishing wiping the tears off her cheeks. ]

Merlin, I look a right mess.

[ It's a weak attempt at a joke, but it's something. She doesn't move at first though, waiting for Remus and Sirius to stand as well (which of course they will, just after her) before making any move toward the bedroom.

She wonders if they can coax the cat into laying with them too. ]

[Quiet is never good. Noise can be good or bad, of course, and the low pulsing quiet of a full house can be completely acceptable--the constant little shuffle of bodies moving here and there, the reassurance of breathing coming from behind every door.

Actual quiet, though, makes his skin crawl. Actual quiet, the sort that's only broken with furtive movements and dampened conversations he can't quite hear, drives him up the wall.

It has James pausing unhappily for a moment on the other side of the door, trying to feel the heartbeats he knows ought to be here through sheer force of will. It doesn't quite work. Still, it has his heart slightly steady as he lets himself in properly.

Which is good, because a steady heart is clearly needed.]

--what happened?

[Of course they follow her, and they pile into the bed after a quick wave of a wand to expand it accordingly. It's hardly the first time one of them has walked in on a few of the others curled up in bed together, but it usually doesn't have such a somber feel to it. Quite the opposite, usually.

It hits Remus suddenly how this might look.]

No one's gotten hurt or died.

[That's probably the most important thing to start with, rather than a more nebulous "we have something to tell you", especially since one of their partners is still not present.]

[He's absolutely curled in as close as he can to the others, with the blankets and the cat in the way. Really, the cat is practically part of the cuddle pile, perching partially on Sirius' face and sprawling across as many other bodies as it can. It's a testament to the moment that he isn't doing anything to deal with the tail flicking absently against his nose or the paw pressed somewhat uncomfortably against his cheek.]

Still got some news, though, that said.

[His voice is soft from where it's murmured against Lily.]

C'mere, Prongs.

[It'll be better when they're all curled together. Besides, he has a feeling the other man will want to curl up anyways, once Lily tells him.]

[ By the time James gets home Lily is entirely buried in what appears to be every single blanket in the house. Which is impressive, really. Also worrying, because she never does that. She's huddled in between Sirius and Remus and one hand is poking out so she can pet her unruly familiar, running fingers through his fur slowly.

It's probably good she's buried because it means James can't see her tense so soon as she hears his voice, though Remus and Sirius probably feel it. But there's a muffled noise before she shoves some of the blankets down and at least look at him, trying to smile and failing. ]

Hi, love.

[ That same hand that was petting the cat reaches out for him now instead and she waits until he's settled with them on the bed, clutching one of his hands while the fingers of her free one stroke through his hair lovingly, affectionately--her voice is soft when she speaks. ]

James. You know how I've been sick mornings a lot recently? [ There's a pause, an inhale, and she has to push herself to just say it. ] I'm pregnant. We checked just this afternoon.

[No one's hurt. No one's died. That's half the tension out of his shoulders, although it doesn't stop the rest of the nerves as he moves to crawl into bed with the rest of them. It's a little victory every time news is something less than another friend hurt, tortured; gone. It's another little victory every time coming home means sprawling where he can tangle one hand with Lily's and get his other hand on Remus's knee and lean some of his weight on Sirius and trust that Peter will be back any minute now.

Relaxing half-way into this tangle of limbs and heartbeats is always a good thing. The ghost of a smile is always haunting the back of his lips just for being home. And maybe that, as much as anything else, is why the initial stillness when Lily speaks flags away into something of an awed grin without thought.]

--you're pregnant.

[He knows they all look tense. He knows there's a lot to think through, a lot that could go wrong, a lot of worries that will have to be properly wrangled and accounted for and made safe. He knows that.

It's just that his own fight has always been for normalcy. It had been so important at school (getting Peter to find his groove, getting Remus to be something closer to safe, getting Sirius out of his house), but it had exploded in importance since graduation. Good news had been so rare. Feeling safe in their own home had been so fluctuating.

But Lily's pregnant, and it's impossible for James not to let himself relax for at least a few heartbeats into a deliriously happy smile.]

You're pregnant. [It's awe-inspiring. It's beautiful. It's something they'll need to fight to protect, but it's something so completely worth protecting. His gaze casts briefly to Sirius and Remus, not quite able to be tempered despite the bared nerves in the room.] She's-- pregnant.

[He'll come back down from the sheer joy in a minute. It's just such a nice thing to be overwhelmed by happiness again after all this bleakness.]

[When James joins them, it feels an awful lot like something missing slotting back into place. There's still one piece of them absent in the shape of Peter but it helps to have their ruthless optimist with them.

Afraid as he is, as they all are, it's probably good for someone to be so happy about this. It's supposed to be a happy thing, supposed to be something worth celebrating. In another time, it'd be worthy of a damn party.

Remus doesn't want to end that joy. But he still can't quite manage a real smile in return, not one that feels right. It's a bit weak, wavering slightly.] There'll be-- a lot to do. [Their most ambitious problem to tackle yet, really, accidental as it is.]

[Sirius Black has always followed James Potter's lead. He followed him out of a mindset of pureblood mania. He followed him into a loving home and a group of beloved friends. He followed him away from the precipice of cruelty they hadn't known they were standing on. He followed him into a war-- although that, likely, he would have done on his own.

So Sirius follows James' lead, now, and can't help the almost instinctive smile that creeps across his own lips at the sight of the other man's. The cat is swatted off his face with a muttered swear in response to its irritated hiss. It feels quite important, after all, to move to press a soft and grateful kiss to James' lips before he settles a little bit back into the cuddle pile.

It makes it a little easier to keep his smile on his face, even when Remus points out all that needs to happen.]

Do it all together, nn?

[They've been saying it as a reassurance to one another over and over again since they found out. It's technically a reassurance for James, now, too. But just seeing James' quiet optimism seems to have been enough of a push, for the moment, to get Sirius sounding much more confident about things as well.]

[ James' joy and optimism makes something in her shoulders relax. Lily lets out a shaking breath and manages a smile that doesn't look mournful for the first time since they realized. ]

Don't be mean to Icarus.

[ Mildly. Calmer. Once Sirius has settled back she sits up more as well, leaning up to kiss James as well, soft and lingering a moment before she flops back with a sigh, a little pomf noise sounding as she drops onto the pillow. ]

Yes, well, that's you lot got me into this mess, so why would we stop now?

[ It's a joke, and a bad one, but she's trying. It's a nice quiet moment of levity at least, before they have to get quiet and worried again. ]

There are... a lot of factors to consider. But with all five of us... It's still frightening, but it's... We've handled everything else that's been thrown at us.

[It's not perfect. It's not uniform. It's still flickering with Sirius and wavering with Remus and dulled with Lily.

Still, it's smiles finding their ways back into this little space they all share. Maybe it'll even be proper smiles that greet Peter when he makes his way home. That's the first step, James is entirely certain, to making the rest of the uncertainty begin to fall into place.]

It'll get sorted. [And it'll start here, with slightly better smiles beginning to peak across their lips.] Probably starts with some tea and staying in bed, yeah?

[Possibly for all of them.

Possibly they can convince the cat to get them tea.]

[Even if the cat were capable of getting them tea, it's doubtful they could ever convince him to. He's a cat. He does what he wants.

Maybe if they just keep echoing that they'll figure it out together, they'll actually believe it. Despite his doubts, Remus is starting to. They'd tackled all sorts of problems together, even one with arguably as high a stake as this, so maybe-- maybe once they've figured it out, once all the plans are in place...

He puts that thought aside, in case any of them can read it on his expression. He's not been very good at hiding things from them since they'd figured out his "furry little problem" all those years ago.]

Bit tough to do both at the same time, isn't it?

He started it, Lils.

[Because Icarus is, in fact, a cat. And Icarus will do whatever he wants. Like say, for example, absolutely not getting tea and instead sitting on Sirius once more now that he's been settled for more than two seconds. At least it's not his face, again.]

I'd try Summoning some, but I don't think we want a repeat of last time.

[Plus, cat. On his wand arm. Probably he's going to lose feeling in it shortly. The things he puts up with for you, Lily.]

Please do not try to Summon tea.

[ Blandly, muffled again. ]

Icarus, go get us tea.

[ The cat does, in fact, not go to get them tea. He does meow, a bit indignantly, like he'd understood the order and is offended by it. Lily scowls but it's not quite real and instead snuggles down, slightly mollified by the pile she's in. ] We can have tea later.

[Poor Icarus. The world asks too much of him.

James can spare a thought and a hand to briefly reach for the cat's ear, affectionate even as he starts shifting back on the bed.] 've got it. You keep the bed warm.

[It's all a team effort, after all.]

[Probably for the best James goes for it. Practically speaking, he's the least tangled in the pile of limbs and blankets, and as far as emotionally... Lily obviously should be doted on more than usual for the foreseeable future, Sirius has only just gotten pulled out of his usual self-destructive spiral by James, and Remus probably shouldn't be given time to think too much away from everyone else so soon. James is the most emotionally stable, what else is new.

He'll still try to protest it, though.] You just got here, though.

[Poor Icarus nothing. The asshole cat (as Sirius likes to call him) has spread more properly and now has taken over the vast majority of Sirius' wand arm. His circulation may never be the same again.

It also means he's quite properly trapped, and snuggling warmly in once more.]

Just means he's not settled yet 'nd it's easier for him t'go, Moony. [It's an affectionate mutter as his free hand reaches blindly to try to squeeze at the other young man, before reaching for James one last time.]

Thanks, Prongs.

Poly-Marauders Baby Drama

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if we named the cat before i don't remember ohhhhhh well his name is icarus now

to balance out the casual british names with more latin nonsense yes good

slides in 15 minutes late with starbucks

well we got a star here and a buck in james so \o/

tru

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