Sirius Black [Maraduders Era] (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
effingsirius) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
marauderstower2016-10-28 12:30 am
effingsirius) wrote in marauderstower2016-10-28 12:30 am
Entry tags:
Poly-Marauders Yelling At Sirius
Timeline: 2 mo after Harry's born. A few months after the Prophecy happened/Sirius made the Secret Keeper for the fam.
He'd asked Dumbledore what might happen, were the Secret Keeper to die. The older wizard's answer was what got the wheels in his head turning. He'd started, quietly, looking into the finer details of the magic. He'd agreed to the rest of his family's request to take on the role of Secret Keeper.
It isn't until he holds Harry in his arms that it all slides into something certain, rather than a half-baked plan. Of course he has to protect his family. Of course he has to protect this small, precious child with Lily's eyes and James' familiar mussy hair.
(If it just so happens that protecting the Wizarding World and their son from You-Know-Who and protecting Harry from Sirius is most effectively accomplished by the same means, well. That's all circumstantial.)
He leaves a letter for Regulus tucked away in his room. He kisses Lily softly before he leaves. He croons a fond goodbye to Harry. He murmurs a soft "I love you" to James and holds Peter a little longer than he usually does. Remus is away again, but that's okay. He brings his phone with him, so he can say goodbye when the time comes.
He goes to the Shack, because despite it all there's good memories and it's close enough to Hogwarts to feel like safety and home. He lets himself cry and shake a little until he feels more resolved. Causing a knife wound to the stomach is effective enough but slow enough that he has time to call Remus to say goodbye.
But he forgets how well the other man knows him. He forgets to cast a numbing charm on himself before it starts to hurt too much, and really, trying to sneakily do that is probably the last straw. Before he knows it, Remus is there, furious and frightened and healing him. The anger in his partner's form (and, honestly, his own quiet relief) is enough to keep him from protesting being taken to St. Mungo's to be checked on properly. From protesting being all but dragged home and forced into bed with at least one of their family members watching him at all times.
He's quiet and something approaching contrite (more for being caught, still, though a little bit for what he tried to do) as he stays where he is. There's nothing to do but let them yell, after all. He's already mucked up his chance to make things go the way he'd hoped. He'd have to wait for either a fight to take him or stick through surviving somehow.
(He isn't sure, still, even with the lingering regret from what he thought would be his last moments, which of those options he'd prefer.)
Warnings: Suicide attempt, possibly discussions of past child abuse, Sirius' past and mental illness making him sabotage his life and relationships.
He'd asked Dumbledore what might happen, were the Secret Keeper to die. The older wizard's answer was what got the wheels in his head turning. He'd started, quietly, looking into the finer details of the magic. He'd agreed to the rest of his family's request to take on the role of Secret Keeper.
It isn't until he holds Harry in his arms that it all slides into something certain, rather than a half-baked plan. Of course he has to protect his family. Of course he has to protect this small, precious child with Lily's eyes and James' familiar mussy hair.
(If it just so happens that protecting the Wizarding World and their son from You-Know-Who and protecting Harry from Sirius is most effectively accomplished by the same means, well. That's all circumstantial.)
He leaves a letter for Regulus tucked away in his room. He kisses Lily softly before he leaves. He croons a fond goodbye to Harry. He murmurs a soft "I love you" to James and holds Peter a little longer than he usually does. Remus is away again, but that's okay. He brings his phone with him, so he can say goodbye when the time comes.
He goes to the Shack, because despite it all there's good memories and it's close enough to Hogwarts to feel like safety and home. He lets himself cry and shake a little until he feels more resolved. Causing a knife wound to the stomach is effective enough but slow enough that he has time to call Remus to say goodbye.
But he forgets how well the other man knows him. He forgets to cast a numbing charm on himself before it starts to hurt too much, and really, trying to sneakily do that is probably the last straw. Before he knows it, Remus is there, furious and frightened and healing him. The anger in his partner's form (and, honestly, his own quiet relief) is enough to keep him from protesting being taken to St. Mungo's to be checked on properly. From protesting being all but dragged home and forced into bed with at least one of their family members watching him at all times.
He's quiet and something approaching contrite (more for being caught, still, though a little bit for what he tried to do) as he stays where he is. There's nothing to do but let them yell, after all. He's already mucked up his chance to make things go the way he'd hoped. He'd have to wait for either a fight to take him or stick through surviving somehow.
(He isn't sure, still, even with the lingering regret from what he thought would be his last moments, which of those options he'd prefer.)
Warnings: Suicide attempt, possibly discussions of past child abuse, Sirius' past and mental illness making him sabotage his life and relationships.