"Always careful, you know me. Quick and quiet and careful." Another lie falling smoothly from his mouth. He wonders how much his sins have compounded.
Regulus listens carefully to everything the Healer has to say, taking it in and cataloging it for later. It's good to know, and once she leaves Regulus turns his attention fully back to his brother, nodding and holding onto his hand. "I know," he lies, "I know now that we've just made mistakes. I'll go talk to him, things will be all right." He's repeating himself purposefully to sink the thought into Sirius' mind, to ease him.
"I love you," he murmurs, and waits for him to drop off to sleep. It's only then that he moves, pressing the back of Sirius' hand to his own forehead. These affections they learned themselves, bucking tradition and their parents. It's all right. They've had each other, at least. "I'm not like them," he whispers when he's sure Sirius won't wake, "I'm not."
Telling himself so he can be sure. Finally he lets go, making sure his brother is settled in and comfortable before he leaves the room. It takes him ages to find Remus, stalking from room to room and up and down the hall, searching for any sign of him. He's good at this though, well-practiced. Finally he's at the room Remus is in, opening the door and stepping inside before closing it behind him, standing there to block the way out.
"Remus." He hates himself and is afraid of Remus even now, but he has to do this. Can't let it go on like this. His voice is firm but not cold, somehow.
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Regulus listens carefully to everything the Healer has to say, taking it in and cataloging it for later. It's good to know, and once she leaves Regulus turns his attention fully back to his brother, nodding and holding onto his hand. "I know," he lies, "I know now that we've just made mistakes. I'll go talk to him, things will be all right." He's repeating himself purposefully to sink the thought into Sirius' mind, to ease him.
"I love you," he murmurs, and waits for him to drop off to sleep. It's only then that he moves, pressing the back of Sirius' hand to his own forehead. These affections they learned themselves, bucking tradition and their parents. It's all right. They've had each other, at least. "I'm not like them," he whispers when he's sure Sirius won't wake, "I'm not."
Telling himself so he can be sure. Finally he lets go, making sure his brother is settled in and comfortable before he leaves the room. It takes him ages to find Remus, stalking from room to room and up and down the hall, searching for any sign of him. He's good at this though, well-practiced. Finally he's at the room Remus is in, opening the door and stepping inside before closing it behind him, standing there to block the way out.
"Remus." He hates himself and is afraid of Remus even now, but he has to do this. Can't let it go on like this. His voice is firm but not cold, somehow.